freak out, far out, in out (hobbit_feets) wrote in deppenport,
freak out, far out, in out

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I discovered this community about... mmm, thirty minutes ago, and.... oh my giddy aunt's knickers!!!  I am so excited to find a community dedicated to this pairing which I do so love.  So, this is just a wee fic I typed out last night- the idea had been in me head for a while, but I had yet to write it, so here we are!  I hope you enjoy.  Oh, and credit for the glorious icon goes to [info]sinningia.



Title: Thanks, Dear


Pairing: Deppenport


Rating: PG


Author: Culumacilinte


Disclaimer:  I own nothing, nothing at all; I have never even met Gore Verbinski, Ted Elliot, Terry Rossio, nor the two lovely leading lads- Jack Davenport and Johnny Depp.  They belong entirely to themselves.  This is fiction, unfortunately.  Well, I suppose it might actually have happened, but I severely doubt it.


Summary: In which Jack and Johnny partake in a bit of casual banter on set which turns into... rather something more, and Ted and Terry decide that the fans don’t need too much information


Author’s Note: Inspired by the short clip in the DMC blooper reel where Johnny tucks a bit of Jack’s loose hair behind his ear, and Jack responds by saying “Thanks, dear.”  This is my idea of what bits of that film clip might not have been included on the DVD, as it were.



Jack smirks wryly when Johnny hurries forward to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind one ear; he’s swaying and grinning madly- in full Jack Sparrow voice and mannerism, as he always is on set.  He blinks bemusedly at him, as the hair escapes once again, and Johnny grimaces and fastidiously secures it against the wind.


Jack lifts an eyebrow, “Thanks, dear”


“Ta, love,” says Johnny, slinking out of the camera’s view.


There is a long pause, wherein Gore can be heard talking to various tech-type people off on the sides, until Johnny’s voice comes quite unexpectedly over the mutterings of the crew, and the hiss of the wind and the waves.  “Y’know, mate, I fully expect payment for that service.”


“Oh?”  Jack’s voice is cool, “And what sort of payment might you be wanting, Mr. Depp?”


A laugh, deep and throaty, and now Johnny’s voice is a purr, “Oh, I think you know the sort of payment I mean, Jack.”


A small chuckle finds its way out of the back of Jack’s throat, and his eyes close momentarily, “Ah, well I think you, ah, might just have to remind me.”


Remind you?”  Rich and amused now, like rum and molasses, “How about I demonstrate, aye?”


And with that, Johnny swaggers up to Jack, gives the camera a salacious wink, and then the two are attached at the lips, and Mr. Davenport can be heard muttering “Ah, how could I have forgot?”  There’s a distracted shush from Johnny, and then his hands are twining in Jack’s tangled, windblown hair- well, one hand is, the other can be distinctly seen sliding down to cup the curve of Jack’s arse beneath the soiled and tattered Commodore’s coat.  A throaty moan can be heard- probably Jack, and-


The screen cuts to black.


Terry Rossio puts down the remote, and turns to Ted Elliot, sitting beside him.  “Had to stop that before it turned into fuckin’ Pirates of Brokeback Mountain,” He mutters, shaking his head.


Ted laughs.  “Yeah, probably a good call.  You just wanna stop it after the ‘thanks, dear’, then?”


A nod.  “Yeah- it’s a blooper reel, after all, not a porno.”


“Hey, I’d hardly call that a porno, Tel, it’s just-”  Terry gives him a look and Ted realises (rather belatedly) how defensive he had sounded, “But yeah; no need to give the fans that much information, right?  I don’t imagine Jack and Johnny would appreciate it terribly, either.”


Terry snorts wryly, “Nor would their wives.”


“And that.”


“Not that they need it,” says Terry after a while.




“The fans- they don’t need to see two of the male leads snogging to know they’re doing it.”


Ted nods sagely, “True.”

 Cross-posted to johnny_rps, and possibly sparrington- I'm not yet sure if I'm allowed to put Jack/Johnny stuff there.


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